I dugg this article about the benefits of power napping but the trouble for me is that naps are often like some sort of somnolence grenade tossed under my pillow blasting me into Stage 4 and it is this that often destroys my dreams of spending an afternoon reading, the quiet ripped by deep snores and occasional lip smacking. My goal yesterday was to wrap up The Gripping Hand and to be honest I was lucky to get twenty-five pages in before the book was on the floor and drool was slowly spreading across my chest. Four hours, that is how long I was out according to my wife and by all accounts that means I stitched together four Lazy Man’s naps.

Now, there are many in my life that have leveled the charge that I do not get quality sleep and that I need to concentrate on that before I can begin reaping the benefits of a micronap or at the very least find cover from nap-time ordnance. I suppose that the root of the problem is my sleep schedule. Since we got the dog I’ve been finding that I begin waking up around four in the morning, reaching complete wakefulness a little before five, and coupled with an often late bedtime–blame it on procrastination, surfing, or general desire to stay up with Management–makes for one crappy night’s sleep. I’ve always been one to awaken early on anticipation of needing to get up and it used to be that I would wake up some five minutes before the alarm clock but now it has stretched to some two hours–if it maintains that pace than I’ll be waking up before I go to bed.

So I suppose my goal would to try and maximize my time asleep or at least structure my time in bed to be most beneficial. The question then becomes, “How in the hell do I do that?” Well, The Better Sleep Council offers the following tips:

• Maintain a regular bed and wake time schedule, including weekends. (Check–Dog ensures this.)
• Establish a regular, relaxing bedtime routine such as soaking in a hot bath or hot tub and then reading a book or listening to soothing music. (Nope–Management might get suspicious if I start taking bubble baths all the time.)
• Create a sleep-conducive environment that is dark, quiet, comfortable and cool. (Check–Bedroom is like a crypt.)
• Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows. (Nope–Mattress has seen better days and the pillows are like smashed white bread.)
• Use your bedroom only for sleep and sex. It is best to take work materials, computers and televisions out of the sleeping environment. (Check–TV is barely on and no computers.)
• Finish eating at least two to three hours before your regular bedtime. (Check–Dinner is consumed some four hours prior.)
• Exercise regularly. It is best to complete your workout at least a few hours before bedtime. (Check–Last long walk with the dog is some two hours prior.)
• Avoid nicotine (e.g., cigarettes, tobacco products). Used close to bedtime, it can lead to poor sleep. (Check–Don’t smoke.)
• Avoid caffeine (e.g., coffee, tea, soft drinks, chocolate) close to bedtime. It can keep you awake. (Nope–Fierce soda habit.)
• Avoid alcohol close to bedtime. It can lead to disrupted sleep later in the night. (Check–Don’t drink.)

So maybe the fact that I scored 70% on this checklist is why I drop like Glass Joe taking a jab in the face when nap time approaches.  More bubble baths, less soda, and a better pillow should get things rolling and allow me to actually read a book when I want to rather than succumbing to the sweet succor of slumber.