We live just behind the middle school/high school complex which makes for a great place to walk Peri, the best part of which is all the things that we find lost or forgotten. At last tally we tripped over or sniffed up the following:

• (60) tennis balls
• (15) baseballs
• (3) softballs
• (2) soccer balls
• (1) “Superstar Princess” Glitter sticker–not the rapper–which went straight to Management, of course.
• (3) love notes of the 12-13 year old variety which makes for entertaining reading.
• (1) second page of a letter from an elderly aunt which makes for not so entertaining reading.
• (1) satchel with a safari hat, Marriott hotel room key card, and cigar box filled with pens and a Wild Kingdom Kids Club membership card dated 1998. We flagged down a janitor to return this since it looked to be a collection of mementos.
• (1) five dollar bill just defrosted from a snow bank–Peri has a sharp eye for money!
• (3) detention slips
• (76) Time for Kids magazines which were spread over one of the back parking lots and were all of the same issue from August of 2004. We found them in June of 2005.
• (2) sweatshirts, one in a field the other in the skate park.
• (1) pair of Granny Panties® discarded in the teachers parking lot. Peri wanted to sniff them like a Japanese business man and I wanted to steer a wide path. We compromised and turned around and went the other way.
• Countless beer cans and empty liquor bottles in the teachers parking lot, which should tell you something about the stress of dealing with hundreds of adolescents. I’m just surprised I haven’t seen needles and homemade crack pipes yet because if I was working there that would be the direction I would be leaning in.

Cash, balls, and Princess Superstar stickers were kept the rest was laughed at and left where it lay. It really is no mystery why Management calls me Trash Man.