Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Lemonade at Thirty-Five

Monday, January 19th, 2009

35 and Furry Faced

The start of the new year has been a tad subpar, Management was laid off and her car needs major repairs, though I suppose with such an inauspicious start things can really only look up.  Maybe we had a feeling that this was on the horizon when we started hacking at our budget but it definitely is helping that we’ve made some radical cuts to our lifestyle before all this happened but when I honestly reflect on it the layoff is likely a blessing in disguise.

Management hated her job.  The company she worked for was demeaning and her boss was less than pleasant and far from stable swinging wildly from highs where praise was cheap currency to dark lows where her fury was a 1000 year storm.   She was depressed from the grind and angry that she put the time and effort only to feel like she was running in quicksand; at some point the place was going to consume her body and soul.  The layoff is probably the best thing that has happened to our marriage since Gabriella and the time she is getting to spend with our daughter is just what the both of them need.  As far as I am concerned, the benefits are outweighing the loss of income.

Work, however, for me is the opposite.  I love what I am doing; I am learning and being pushed to think smarter, quicker, and differently every single day.  I love that.

As you can see from the picture, I never really gave up on The Beard Project, after a couple of trims around Thanksgiving I just let it go to seed.  Management wonders when I’ll grow tired of being so fluffy, my daughter sinks her fingers into it and exclaims “Oh, Bear!”, and I love how warm it has kept me this past cold snap.

Co-Working

Friday, December 12th, 2008

Getting things done with a little help.

Bailey, Our New Dog or Why I am up late at night

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Bailey is, as were are told, an Australian Shephard/Labrador Retriever Mix.  What I do know is that she has freakishly huge paws, a penchant for licking faces, and a mighty strong dislike for nighttime crate training.  We got her through the Double Dog Rescue and she originally hails from Tennesse where apparently no one spays or nueters their pets nor takes in unwanted ones as Bailey arrived on a truck with many other dogs, puppies to adults, hoping for a better homelife in Connecticut.

A Little Bee-Hind

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
A Little Bee-Hind

A Little Bee-Hind

…and full of bad puns. I have a back log of Gabi photos to cross post here that I hope to get to in the next couple of days.

This is where I concede defeat…for now.

Monday, January 7th, 2008

Moby DickThis is a case of too much yet not enough.

I tried, really tried, but this weighted tome dragged me under and held me until sputtering and choking I put it down for bright skies and fresh air. Melville could have used a good editor as the liberal use of semi-colons left me eyes bulged and teeth gritted waiting for the sweet relief of a period. Coupled with the near worthless expositions of natural history, metaphysics, and self-congratulatory displays of knowledge about biblical and ancient myths the worthwhile parts are stretched too far apart like so few of those whaling stations he wrote so fondly about.

I dashed that out late Saturday night after tossing the book aside in frustration but is it really a problem with the prose? After some honest self reflection, I’d say no. This is a classic “It’s me, not you” situation. Too put it in perspective my time and resources are over taxed, over allocated, and poorly invested. I subscribe to over 200 RSS feeds, participate in dozens of online communities, chase after my year-old, work a full-time job, consult on the side, and try to cook a decent meal. When I carve out a moment to read, like I have been trying to do for over two years with my reading list, the most I can concentrate on is linear fluff. Melville is too dense and while wandering around the woods with Gabi I came to the conclusion that I need to carve up my life and discard those pieces that are superfluous.

200 feeds, seriously I would wake up in the morning with some 1800 unread items and after skimming 200 items I would just make the whole stack as read. What is the point of that? Wasted time, wasted energy, and the whole process left me feeling both mentally fatigued and scatterbrained. After hacking my feed list up and sanding it down it now stands at 53 feeds and when I wake up I have around 80 items unread.

Online communities? Paring it down as I type with the goal of abandoning nearly all with the exception of where my co-workers and friends hangout: Facebook/Twitter/Geezeo for work and a private site for my friends. I’m still following the blogs of friends and will chat there but gone are the days of commenting on Digg, Reddit, eMusic, Last.fm, ad nauseum. One thing that I have learned is that soaking in it can be mentally toxic; how many Ron Paul stories can you read and how many posts can a lonely divorcee make while drunk to what was once my favorite music destination? Really, I don’t give a fuck how much Chardonnay you drank or how horny The National makes you and Ron Paul? Get serious, he is a Class A fuckwit. A post or two might elicit a chuckle, but any number beyond that makes me want to hurl my laptop right out the front door. The noise is overwhelming the signal.

Getting back to basics. It is really more like reconstructing my pre-Internet life: time to read and listen to music, time to work, time with family, time to be creative, and time to be active. While I might not be able to drop everything and hit the trails for an epic ride like I did some 10 years ago I can carve out time for a walk. Better yet, we signed up at a local community center which has everything you could wish a health and fitness center could and would: daycare, playscape, Olympic sized pool, exercise classes, free weights, cardio room. It will give us a chance to spend time as a family as well as provide us a place to maybe get a little less doughy.

So what does this have to do with Moby Dick? My life as I have been living it is keeping me from being able to really read it and that is a symptom of a bigger issue. If I cannot put forth the time to read a book typically assigned in a high school English class what else am I missing out on and who else is getting shorted when it comes to my attention and energy. So, while I’m putting it down and picking up something a little more trashy, I am not willing to give up on it completely. Maybe after I put things back in perspective you might find me banging out some sets on a recumbent while polishing off the closing chapters of Melville’s love letter to the semi-colon.

It has been a week.

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

Not just a measure of time but an indication of what an emotional and physical drain it has been. Quick itemized list, some important, some trivial, all easily digested…

  • Gabi
    • 22 lbs
    • 29 1/4 inches
    • Battling a cold post flu shot
  • Management’s Mom
    • One broken femur
    • Pulled back
    • Four days in hospital, five to go two weeks in a rehabilitation center
  • Work
    • Me
      • New EC2 instance sizes that boost the operational specs through the roof
      • Working hard to rebuild and redeploy
      • Still love my job
    • Management
      • Politics galore
      • Working harder than ever
      • Talking more and more about wanting to be a SAHM
  • Music
    • Heavy into my Autumn Jazz phase
      • (Davis + Coltrane) * Live set in Copenhagen = Heaven
      • Robert Mazurek’s playground is my new bliss
      • Ahmad Jamal’s Poinciana, how the hell have I gotten by with out it?
    • Baby Elephant is a tad disappointing, could be me though
    • Japancakes continue to rule my world with there two new ones
  • Reading
    • Behind two months on Linux Journal
    • Reading a paltry 10 pages a week of Blue Mars
    • Unloaded nearly half my pile of old paperbacks on Book Mooch and Paperback Swap
  • Blogging
    • CSS rebooted a couple of weeks ago
    • Completely missed on the Blog Action Day
    • Going to try and get back into it with some write ups about the new EC2 products
  • Ubuntu
    • Gutsy Gibbon, mmmmm, nice!
    • My ZaReason laptop still rules

That’s about it.